Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Movie Review | Twilight, Breaking Dawn Part 2

The Twilight Saga | Breaking Dawn part 2.
In a word... DISASTER.

In two words (since it's part two)

I could go on, and I will but, first, let me make a public apology for liking this series, I read the books and I loved where it was going, by Breaking Dawn (Book 4) I was so engrossed with the characters that I had to finish, and much like this movie, I painstakingly flipped each page in complete horror of what has become of my beloved characters.

As evidence of my faltering love for the movie series, I went and saw Twilight (1) in theaters with every screaming teenager possible the very night it premiered. New Moon (2) I was more or less over the screaming teenagers, so I waited till the following night and went to a smaller theater, though it shouldn't go unnoticed in a public forum that my Husband saw it on opening night without me. That's forever something I hold over his head - he went as a joke. Eclipse (3) was my favorite book, and I ended up waiting for it to hit the $2 Galaxy theater and I enjoyed it and looked forward to the next one. Breaking Dawn Part 1(4) I waited for it to hit the $2 theater again, and I was underwhelmed, who wants to watch someone be excruciatingly pregnant for 2 hours? Gross! The 4th book could have been one movie in my eyes. Since part 1 was so horrid, I didn't really care about part 2 and kind of forgot about it. Then, it hit the shelves, and my loving husband brought it home for me because I'm that girl who needs to "Complete collections" no matter how crappy they become. I own all 5 movies, and the last one is by in large the WORST PIECE OF CINEMA DONE IN THE PAST 3-5 YEARS!!!! (This includes any "films" from the Scary Movie Franchise - But we'll save that for another post).

The story line in general had reached a point of no return, but let's not forget the "Special effects". Most people gripe about the wolf transformations from the Quileute Tribe, but that's not what gets me. It's the fact that they still have their "Human" qualities even though they've transformed - outside of the vampires sparkling in the sunshine this is the worst bastardization of classic horror stories ever. But maybe that's yet again for another post, lets talk about the giant elephant in the room during this movie - did anyone else think that Renesmee looked like the Fricken E-trade baby?! Seriously, it would NOT have taken anything away from the movie for the baby to just be a baby. I couldn't stop staring at her / it. SHAME on you CGI guy for thinking this looked good enough to go to print, and double shame on Stephanie Meyer for signing off on this!

The only redemption I can say for this movie is that the fight scene was pretty cool, and Bella is a completely transformed character, which is how she's supposed to be, and honestly? I didn't think Kristin Stewart had the acting chops to pull it off.

All in all? I give it two very big thumbs down, so much so that I considered giving away my entire series and after I was done watching it I literally sat, on my couch, dumbfounded.

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